MY COMFORTABLE PLACE
Everytime when I feel tired or upset and when I argue with my mother, I generally go to the park where I can relax myself and feel better.It is near my house, so I go there everytime when I want. I love this park and I become comfortable there.
This park has been there since I was child.I go there with my friends when I was a child. Of course, This park becomes very big gradually. Now this park is one of the big parks in my country.It has lots of things for both children and adults. There are lots of fountains and especially at night these fountains look wonderful.Sometimes I go there at nigt in order that I watch them.There are also childre's park and tea garden.Besides sometimes it is made some activities at there. It is a park which has lots of visitors.Sometimes there is very crowded and I feel myself as if I go to a concert.It has lots of green area, so a lot of animal live there.You can see these animals when you go there. You can also do sports there. For example;I sometimes go there at weekends for running so I feel myself healty.
In conclusion; I can relax myself and feel better at there. A lot of people are also like me. They go there for amusement and comfort. I wish I lived there.
Introduction is good and enough.I like it.Body has adjectives and describes place.conclusion is ok,but i found some grammar mistakes : i go there when i was a chil : i went there...All of us do these mistakes :) it is a good descriptive essay :)
YanıtlaSilHi Seda,
YanıtlaSilFirstly thank you for comment.Really i make some mistakes.Now i realize this mistake. Thanks...:))))
hi betül :) you describe your comfortable place very clear.I am wondering this place.I wanted to see there.Introduction is good..I liked it.see you :)
YanıtlaSilhi betül ,
YanıtlaSilyour description is very good l like it. However,there are some small mistakes such as "a lot of animal"=>you should use a lot of animals. As seda said before, all of us can make these mistakes but they should be corrected.ok..see you pretty girl..:)
Betül,
YanıtlaSilHook can be different from this and also I see some grammetical mistakes as in my essays:).Apart from these things I like it.
Hi Betül,
YanıtlaSilyour essay is really good I like your style and using your sentences clearly,but it has some small mistakes such as,
There are also childre's park/children's
it is made some activities at there./sone activities are performed there.
Sometimes there is very crowd and I feel myself as if I go to a concert./Sometimes it is so crowded that I fell myself as if I went to a concert.
at there/there
ok dear see you.
Dear Betul,
YanıtlaSilWould you please improve your essay by considering the suggestions I give here.
Can you also improve the description of the park with more details?
You wrote:
"MY COMFORTABLE PLACE
Everytime when I feel tired or upset and when I argue with my mother, I generally go to the park where I can relax myself and feel better.It is near my house, so I go there everytime when I want. I love this park and I become comfortable there.
This park has been there since I was child.I go (????used to go) there with my friends when I was a child. Of course, T(t)his park (has)become???s very big gradually. Now this park is one of the big parks in my country.It has lots of things for both children and adults. There are lots of fountains and especially at night these fountains look wonderful.Sometimes I go there at nigt ????in order that I watch them.There are also childre(n)'s park and tea garden.Besides sometimes ???it is made some activities at there???(some activities are held there). It is a park which has lots of visitors.Sometimes ??(it)there is very crowded and I feel ???myself as if I go to a concert.It has lots of green area, so a lot of animal(s) live there.You can see these animals when you go there. You can also do sports there. For example;I sometimes go there at weekends for running so I feel ???myself healty.
In conclusion; I can relax myself and feel better ???at there. A lot of people are also like me. They go there for ???amusement and comfort. I wish I lived there (for ever)."
hi my sweet :)
YanıtlaSili liked your essay.your introductory part is effective and well-written.maybe body paragraph is improved.also,there are some grammatical erros suc as;lot of:a lot of animals,ı go to..:i went to etc..ı believe that after you correct them, your essay will be much more effective than this.see you :)